a) In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa
b) One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Scousers and Blacks is not the correct answer
c) I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's ipod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
d) George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh, She's Eleven."
e) My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was she's rubbish at snooker
f) There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in town but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
g) You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools
h) A mate of mine has just told me he's sh*gging his girlfriend and her identical twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
i) A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
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