How Bad is the Economy ? USA

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail-

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries

CEO's are now playing miniature golf-

B.P. laid off 25 Congressmen-

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced-

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank-

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her-

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico-
A picture is now only worth 200 words-

They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates-

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal: The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear-

And finally I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc that I called the Suicide Hotline. It rang into a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!.